Longer Arms

The one thing I’ve noticed about growing older is that I am, in fact, growing older. Before I go any further, however, I’d like to thank those of you who, over the years, have lied through your teeth by insisting I look good for my age. Let’s face it, I didn’t look all that good when I was fifteen. Add another fifty years to that, and, well, you get the picture. 

But the hell with all that. What concerns me are a couple other things, the first of which is my eyesight. I’ve always had exceptional vision – the only member of my family not to wear glasses – but now that claim is a distant memory. About a decade ago I found I was having to hold books a few inches farther from my face in order to read the print. A trip to the eye doctor confirmed what I already knew: I needed reading glasses. I now have reading glasses all over my house, because I can’t remember where I put the last pair I used and can’t see them when I get there.

For a long time I took solace in knowing I could still read the fine print on restaurant menus if I had sufficient lighting. And then one day that ended, too. I could install klieg lights over both shoulders and still it wouldn’t be enough. So it was back to Costco for a package of higher-amp reading glasses.

That problem was easily solved. Another? Not so much.

I’ve been an even six feet tall – to the millimeter – since I was sixteen years old. One day in my late fifties, on a routine annual physical, the nurse pegged my height at five feet, eleven inches. Surely, she was mistaken. I asked her to remeasure my height, and she did, and to no one’s surprise but my own, I was still five feet, eleven inches tall. I was shrinking. And that, my friends, was depressing news. They don’t sell elevator shoes at Costco. 

This year I dropped another half inch. At the rate I’m getting short, I’ll have to stand on the bar stool to order a drink. I’ll have to use a step ladder to get into my car. And I drive a Prius.  Thank god I still look good for my age.

My debut novel Leaves On Frozen Ground is now available at Barnes and Noble! https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/leaves-on-frozen-ground-dave-carty/1131513291?ean=9781771833455